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Thread: 2/2 - 3/6 Grader Wages

  1. #1
    Phantom Thief URPG Staff Ralin's Avatar
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    Default 2/2 - 3/6 Grader Wages

    hey folks! a very late grader wages but I promise in the future to get my crap together and give Elrond my grades sooner so you guys get your money on time! Alas, here it is!

    Imeja the Witch [WWC] 8,500

    Great job! You really do an excellent job of looking at the writer's story and trying to find ways of helping them OVERALL rather than simply focusing on that single story. I noticed this very strongly in your grammar section for Imeja the Witch. Although you did go into the backstory quite a bit, your analysis of the Main story seemed a bit small! Maybe it was your viewpoint on how this should be done, but I think there could have been more discussion on the overall plot for a starting chapter. You graze over a lot of the plot points and focus on the structure, which is great! and Necessary! But take some time to explore the story that they have woven, even if just an intro, there was a lot here!
    Dust caresses your skin [WWC] 5,160
    Comments from ElrondEven though poetry is shorter, typically it's packed with plenty of stuff to talk about

    rhythm and meter, rhyme, form, alliteration, diction

    For the future, I'd want to see commentary that's got way more specific references to the text

    total: 13,660
    The Desert Rain Falls Here [WWC] 8,500
    Great job as well! You picked apart the story and did a good job of going "here" is what the issue is. But! What else could the writer have done besides fix the emotional scene? I think giving the writer some examples is totally fine! At least it gives them a nudge in the right direction. You put a lot of emphasis on the writer not doing enough, but it also seemed like you didn't lay out a lot of reasons why, or examples. Obviously, this was a shorter story, but I think you could have found something!

    total: 8,500
    HM Sirius - Moderate - 8,500

    The Story of Bard, The Wandering Support
    - basic - 2,400
    {chimerical} - strong moderate - 14,050

    I noticed that in all three stories you did an excellent job of breaking down the plot and the meanings and actions behind what they were, and how these things affected the story. I also think while you, did this very effectively, in the first story you didn't spend a lot of time on the descriptions, and could have gone more into depth with them. What could they have done to paint the world better? What makes these descriptions lacking? Do they pull the reader out of the story? Otherwise, three amazingly strong ways to go. It was a blast having you as a Grader Boss, and It feels weird handing you your last pay check but nonetheless it MUST BE DONE!

    total: 24,950

    Ralin (I aint gonna at myself.)Comments from Elrond
    Lungs - Moderate - 6050
    I would suggest being a little more careful not to spend too much time on smaller points
    there's like seven paragraphs on "to slip down the canals to pool into me" when your main point in that whole section is that the one sentence was awkwardly worded.

    Adulthood and the Karp - 2400
    One thing that stood out is that you took a handful of small grammatical errors and typos and just corrected them without much explanation. Now, in the specific situations you chose, that's not necessary a bad thing, but there were enough typos and small grammatical errors that I think it's important to point out. This is a situation where I like to recommend that writers not only proofread, but try something new, like reading their story out loud to themselves.

    total: 8450
    From Nido Hate to Nido Love
    - Strong Moderate - 8250
    Welcome back to the Grader Jam! You do an absolutely wonderful job of analyzing the plot of the story and comparing and contrasting it the another work (Romeo and Juliet) I think this was a great way for the writer to step back and take a look at their story and see how they could have worked on this to make it their own, (or rather, be proud of their twist compared to the original tragedy.) You also did a great job at giving examples as to how they could improve the descriptions.Welcome back and I can't wait to see more!
    total: 8250
    Last edited by Ralin; 03-12-18 at 04:54 PM.
    "With what voice, what words should I shout out this love?"


  2. #2
    (what a nerd) Origamidragons's Avatar
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    Claim! Thank you :)

  3. #3

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    Oh right, you have to post to claim them >_< claiming!
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