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Thread: Regarding Sexual Harassment

  1. #1
    Head of the URPG URPG StaffAdministrator HKim's Avatar
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    Default Regarding Sexual Harassment

    There have been some accusations made against this community that the staff feels should be addressed.

    We want to make it clear that the Pokemon Ultra RPG does not tolerate sexual harassment or pornography in ANY form. When we encounter such behavior, we deliver the appropriate punishment after fully considering all information related to the incident. We work in tandem with the appropriate forum leadership to handle these situations.

    It is unfortunate that there are those who consider our responses to be inadequate when we have been nothing but forthcoming and cooperative in the past. Our punishments were harsh in the most severe cases, resulting in bans and infractions. We took each incident seriously and there is evidence to that point, though most of that is now inaccessible. If there has ever been an instance of past sexual misconduct that we have not been aware of, however, we encourage anyone with information to come forward to help us resolve the matter.

    If any of our members experience sexual harassment on any platform (including voice chats and chats not in the URPG server) from anyone, we encourage you to report it immediately to a staff member. We vow to keep your confidentiality in these situations and will do everything in our power to see to it that they are resolved.

    We, the staff, do our absolute best to not play favorites. We look at the situation from all perspectives to objectively judge the issues at hand. Punishments are based on the offense committed and if the individual had a history of violations. We work hard to come to an unbiased decision in all cases.

    If members have concerns regarding a verdict, they are always free to discuss it with the URPG leadership team. Everyone in the URPG has a voice. We encourage members to use that voice so that we may continue to grow from our mistakes as individuals, as a team, and as a community.
    Last edited by HKim; 12-21-17 at 01:20 AM.

  2. #2
    Comic Relief Elysia's Avatar
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    I wrote a report. Mine was not the only report.

    To everyone who keeps suggesting that this was exaggerated drama or that the purported victims in the report should’ve just been over it by now, I genuinely hope that you are never hurt as much as we were, but if you ever are, my DM’s are always open. Like Nyurgh and others who have weighed in already, I find it strangely hard to abandon this community.

    I was approached by BMG administration several weeks after I quit URPG. Contrary to popular belief, I did not approach them. For once in my life, I was planning to abandon something even when the fight was still going. I was approached because BMG was concerned by what they had seen in the Adamantine post and others, and by my last post in the Staff forums, which was meant to be my last post on BMG/PWN. In both of my posts I outlined how this game and our community are capable of causing incomprehensible hurt on each other, in ways that cross lines that should never be crossed, and that we have never fully learned how to stop it from happening. No matter what else you take away from this, please understand that this report and this loss went beyond just one blowup in November, or one offhand joke in a side server, or one set of friends against another.

    I had no hand in who reviewed all of the reports. BMG administration received them and came to a unanimous decision, which they enacted without consulting me. I do not believe I should’ve been consulted. It wasn’t my place. But the idea that this was the work of one vindictive member or a hasty decision by untrained outsiders is the kind of rug-sweeping of which we stood accused in the first place. A committee of unbiased individuals who are well-versed with the horrors of the internet read the evidence presented to them and made a unanimous decision based on their extensive experience working with online communities. For all we preach about seeking the unbiased perspective, I can’t say that’s true: when we finally heard the least-biased perspective and it failed to align with our own, we immediately tried to dismiss it. The fact that this isn’t even surprising anymore should be a wake-up call enough.

    I am choosing not to release the full report for reasons Monbrey already suggested. Mine was not the only name in it; there is a large portion of the report that refers to me, but I wasn’t the only victim. I was not the worst victim. I was not the oldest or youngest victim, nor the least or most recent. I was just one of the last people left who could speak. It wasn’t just resurrected AIM conversations or things that happened years ago; the bulk of the evidence I presented was inside of the Staff forums themselves. I provided full context. To touch on the parts that have been made public: I talked about how LS, Maverick, and GraylingMurdock were banned. I also presented the threads that showed how it had taken repeated reports about LS publicly circulating nudes of a 14 year-old whenever he was angry at her; how Maverick was permitted to appeal his ban twice and in both cases was extensively considered as a candidate for re-acceptance; how BMG administration had to step in twice for us to take a stand against a real life child molester. There were quotes. There were dates. There were links. BMG made an informed decision. I watched Harry suggest that “we must weigh the value of the freedom of speech against the value of the freedom of the internet against the value of protecting our members” when weighing our “freedom” to repeatedly send unsolicited porn to minors. To suggest that these cases were dealt with fairly and with cooperation with BMG staff is a travesty.

    I don’t get to tell the stories of the others in this thread. That isn’t my place. But since we’re all here in transparency, this is a snapshot of my story. Monbrey has admitted that he doesn’t remember what he’s guilty of, that it happened years ago and he’s forgotten it and moved on. That’s okay. It wasn’t his job to remember. He didn’t have to stay up night after night in terror after an adult man told him he knew where I lived, and that that adult man wanted to fuck me. He didn’t have to cry himself to sleep after being coerced to apologize to the people who wronged me. He didn’t have to watch someone I’d forgiven take that forgiveness and, six years later, repeatedly crack jokes about how good of a politician he’d be since he’d already gotten away with sexually harassing me, both on the forums and publicly in our Staff Discord. I honestly do not hold this against him. That shame wasn’t his job. It was mine.

    edit: hey there's sexually explicit stuff in here; open with caution
    Spoiler:
    (monbrey) SO SHE'D BE SO MUCH TIGHTER
    (derianurpg) xD
    (matt5skip) tight chicks are the best.
    (monbrey) KAI'S STILL HERE RIGHT?
    (monbrey) HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS
    (matt5skip) I'm sure she is.
    (derianurpg) lol
    (derianurpg) she's always here
    (neonsandsurpg) Kai, are you tight?
    (neonsandsurpg) =P
    (derianurpg) lol
    (derianurpg) lol


    (matt5skip) Hey Kai, I'm naming my Gardevoir after you
    (matt5skip) okay?
    (derianurpg) inb4 permablock on neon
    (matt5skip) actually, I dont think she's here.
    (matt5skip) let me test.
    (monbrey) Guess not
    [Dojo Sensei's Tea Room] 7:10 pm
    (derianurpg) she would have said something
    (derianurpg) but she could get on at any time
    (matt5skip) and I'm breeding you with my Magik who's a Gallade
    (monbrey) I've got something she can get on
    (matt5skip) xDDDDDD
    (mewalcadiesmew) KAI IS SUCH A TRAITOR!
    (derianurpg) lol
    (matt5skip) nope, she's not here


    Kai-Mei 7:44 pm
    Shit.
    [Dojo Sensei's Tea Room] 7:44 pm
    (derianurpg) I'm not breeding you with magik though
    (matt5skip) Kai and Magik sitting in the daycare center
    (matt5skip) B R E E D I N G1
    (matt5skip) !
    Kai-Mei 7:44 pm
    Shut. The. Fck. Up.
    Now.
    I'm not laughing
    [Dojo Sensei's Tea Room] 7:44 pm
    (matt5skip) is oh so immature
    (matt5skip) sry sry
    (derianurpg) relax kai
    (derianurpg) lol
    (monbrey) who should I breed your body with?
    Kai-Mei 7:46 pm
    Monbrey can we really please not
    [Dojo Sensei's Tea Room] 7:46 pm
    (neonsandsurpg) I bet she's tight though
    (monbrey) yeah sounds like a cunt like that wouldbe
    (monbrey) *would be
    (neonsandsurpg) oh shit she's here
    (monbrey) yeah lol
    I was 14 years old. This is the tamest part of my report that I feel comfortable releasing, because while URPG once owned the darkest days of my life, it doesn’t get them all back. I’m sorry that it had to be the logs where the only active member to blame is Monbrey; this is just the one that is most relevant to the discussions at hand. My report itself is 41 pages long, and it’s only that short because the AIM and Discord logs are in pastebins instead of inside of the document itself. This is some of the older stuff, but the continued suggestions made from people who haven’t seen my report that it’s only things from ancient history, and that these concerns were indeed properly addressed, is frankly quite baffling.

    Six years ago, these logs and others made it all the way up to BMG. That is the only reason any punishment was taken. The idea that anyone involved in my case was punished in URPG is preposterous; Harry himself said he would allow them to continue playing the game through PE2k. URPG did not have an infraction system at the time. None of these members were banned from URPG. The evidence that Harry claims to have lost clearly is not the same as the evidence that BMG found all over the promotion discussion thread. This isn’t from AIM logs. These are Harry and the moderator team’s words, directly from our Staff subforums on BMG.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hkim
    “Aie and Evkl [BMG Admins] were originally planning to ban all the members involved except due to the sheer number of people, decided to reduce the punishment. I would imagine that had they went through with it, we would have lost quite a few active members here (though technically, I suppose they still could have participated in the URPG from the PE2K-side).”
    BMG administration was merciful to us because they didn’t want to ban the vast majority of our fledgling userbase. In return, we were already planning to cover it up before the infractions were even delivered:
    “It would reflect poorly on the URPG to promote [Monbrey] to this while this event is still recent. I think it would be better to wait a little while until it [the harassment case above] has left people's minds to promote him if we want to go through with it.”
    “A little while” was two months:
    Quote Originally Posted by Pidge
    "Look at it this way. Monbrey's issue was resolved. But we still held off on making him an official then because we wanted to make sure that the issue fully washed over. And now we're making him an official. Same thing here, imo. Feng got into a little situation [circulating child pornography]. We're going to hold off on making him an approver until this thing is fully washed over. Later on, when we're considering new approvers and officials, we can bring Feng up again and say "okay Feng'd make a great approver, he hasn't done anything morally indecent recently, let's make him an approver!"
    After this endorsement, Monbrey was promoted. Feng was never banned or addressed despite a moderator acknowledging his involvement in illicit activity. We took BMG’s benefit of the doubt and we abused it in the worst way possible. I am saddened but not surprised that they were disgusted with us.
    Quote Originally Posted by HKim View Post
    If there has ever been an instance of past sexual misconduct that we have not been aware of, however, we encourage anyone with information to come forward to help us resolve the matter.
    Thank you for your encouragement. I am ashamed, on behalf of everyone who had trust in us, to have waited this long.

    Quote Originally Posted by HKim View Post
    We vow to keep your confidentiality in these situations and will do everything in our power to see to it that they are resolved.
    I admit times have changed since then, but this vow is hard to trust. I was not protected during my case. A day before infractions were finalized on BMG, I was approached by Monbrey. He admitted to having received leaks from Staff about the discussions above and confronted me directly to see if I had reported him. We had the following conversation:
    Spoiler:
    Monbrey 6:47 pm
    Oh also, can you keep something completely confidential?
    Kai-Mei 6:47 pm
    Sure. Why?
    Monbrey 6:48 pm
    Basically, I know the Dojo Chat was reported to officials for harassing you
    Thats all cool lol
    Kai-Mei 6:48 pm
    Shit. I blame HiPS.
    Was it?
    Monbrey 6:48 pm
    However
    I have no idea
    Basically
    Kai-Mei 6:48 pm
    Who told you, though?
    Monbrey 6:48 pm
    Probably shouldnt say
    But the officials all like me
    So yeah
    Kai-Mei 6:49 pm
    Yeah, I know
    nothing got done
    there's too many of them, and they like all of you
    Monbrey 6:49 pm
    However, because of the dirty minded stuff I say
    Particular mention was taken to my name for SEXUAL harrassment
    Which REALLY pissed me off
    Because
    Magik/Ash treat you like shit, I joke around with a dirty mind, and I possibly get accused/punished
    Kai-Mei 6:50 pm
    I'm so confused. Who gave you particular mention? In the logs I sent [...]
    Monbrey 6:50 pm
    I got c/p a post from the staff board
    Kai-Mei 6:50 pm
    Pidge?
    Monbrey 6:51 pm
    In this post that my official friend copied to me, my name and my name alone was accused of 'sexually harassing another URPG member'
    I havent done anything like that to offend you have I?

    The idea that URPG has had preferential treatment was a concept that I understood at fourteen years old. Please do not let soft words delude you.

    Monbrey has announced publicly that he apologized to me; I’ve announced publicly in Adamantine that I forgave him; he’s told me privately that he didn’t mind if I released Adamantine to the public even if it called him out. I included all of this information in the report. I wrote that, when I finally confronted him again about this behavior after he continued to use it to mock me even this year, he did apologize and did stop. I wrote that, after everything that had happened, we had been able to work together for years and I did consider us friends. BMG made its decision knowing that.

    My report is 41 pages of our continued history of complicitness and lies. Harry’s name appears one hundred and eight times. It was abridged. Most of it is just quotes and links to our Staff subforums because even I don’t have all of the logs for what happened. To say that this has been settled correctly and that it was the result of one incident or one member—or even no incidents or no members—is arguably the biggest lie we’ve ever told ourselves, except perhaps that we’ve done everything we can to prevent it from happening again. The correct truth would be to say that these things were settled the same way we settled everything else.

    We talk a lot about how there was hurt on both sides. I don’t deny that. To my knowledge, Monbrey and I have both spent the past week drinking ourselves into oblivion, and I truly am sorry about that. I’m sorry that there were Staff who weren’t aware of our mistakes but were implicated by virtue of being Staff, and I’m sorry most of all to those who were uninvolved in all of this and were hurt by having their stats and work deleted suddenly and without warning. I was a URPG member and a moderator too. Nowhere in my report did I presume to offer suggestions for URPG’s fate. I wrote that we were sorry that this had perpetuated.

    But sorry doesn’t fix everything. Sorry didn’t stop my nightmares when Staff promoted my attackers, sorry didn’t stop my harasser from mocking me years later because he never understood the hurt he inflicted, sorry didn’t stop the exodus of people leaving this game—not just in this month, but years of people fleeing the undertow that runs beneath the surface. At the end of the day, we as Staff covered up a lot of dark shit. We did so because that was the precedent set from on high. Not everyone was complicit. Not everyone, judging from Harry’s public response, was even aware that what we were covering up was inherently vile and wrong. I wrote in Adamantine that the secrets I’d been keeping for years would cause immense harm in reputation to those I considered my friends; that wasn’t dramatic words or exaggerations. I meant it. I had the gross privilege of being able to go back and look at the logs of my own sexual harassment case and see how fervently and quickly it was swept under the rug to maintain the status quo. Most of the other victims quit before they ever had to see how Staff approached their cases, and I do not blame them. I watched the same rhetoric every single time—that this was just a fluke, that we don’t stand for bullying or harassment or bias certain individuals, that moving forward we will continue to take the same strong stance that we’ve always taken. We claim to listen to everyone’s voices and make the right call. We claim to have always have made the right call.

    Judging from their response, I don’t think BMG had reason to believe us any more.

    I’ve had a lot of conversations with people about why we love this game so much. The central thread is escapism: this online community, for those who stay long enough, becomes a home. The fact that so many vets have created new accounts on PWN in the past few days just to keep an eye on us is a testament to how none of us can really forget about it.

    But escapism doesn’t actually mean you get to run away from reality. Our job is to protect. There were actual people behind these screens, people whom we failed to protect time and time again. We caused people hurt and we responded in the worst way possible: by trying to pretend it never happened. This continued for years and continues on today. If the idea that repeated incarnations of this failure resulted in our termination from BMG is so impossible to believe that we’ll jump for whatever we can reach for, I’m not sure what else I can say.

    I’m not going to describe what it felt like to dive into years of sludge to compile my report, or how I did and didn’t cope with the fallout. This isn’t about making people feel sorry for me or thinking that I’m the only one hurt. I know that lots of people have been hurt by this game; please don’t take this post as a competition for who’s stockpiling the most pain. From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry to those who suffered within this community.

    For once, I couldn’t think of a good ending for this post. I don’t have a political agenda I want to push when I lay my evidence on the table. I can’t pretend to have useful advice for how URPG can or should try to recover from this. I thought I had answers. I thought we had fixed things. I thought that we had rebuilt the community to a healthy environment, despite ongoing but conquerable indifference or denial. When I resigned, I did so because I no longer believed that was the case, and now, watching the cycle continue in the face of the largest unbiased judgment we could’ve ever received, I cannot in good faith say that I was wrong.

    Upon making that realization, I quietly resigned from Staff and removed myself from every page of Infohub shortly after. I will not lie and say that it was easy, but I will also not lie and say I regret it. Weir was not yet banned. For the most part I think the act would’ve gone unnoticed had things not escalated the way they did. When people approached me about my disappearance, I was vague about what had happened; that’s usually how people’s tenures here end. A week after I quit, I approached Monbrey on the side and asked him to throw me under the bus so I could stop having to deal with the fallout; whether or not he took my suggestion into consideration before this all broke, I cannot say. I can say that I didn’t expect to come back.

    I am breaking my silence because it’s necessary. Because the Staff team back then lied. Because the current Staff team is too green to know what happened to me or anyone else and too uninformed to know to look for it. Harry's words claiming to come from all of them despite what really happened is evidence that he continues to lie. I say this as a former member of Staff, as someone who saw just a part of the evidence presented to BMG: given the current public stance this post is suggesting we take, we didn’t learn anything. It’s easy for the perpetrators to forget their mistakes when it’s not their job to remember. Until we seriously reflect on what it actually means for one of the biggest Pokemon communities choosing to erase us from existence, we’re just as fucked as we’ve always been.
    Last edited by Elysia; 12-21-17 at 04:00 AM.

    adamantine

  3. #3
    Sleepyhead Jack's Avatar
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    This post is extremely rambling, and I apologize for that, but I have a lot of thoughts. These are the ones that stood out in my head. DM me if you still have questions. I am more than happy to clarify.

    -

    First off, i want everyone to read Elysia's post. HERS is the important one. I felt as if I needed to respond to this, because of one thing:


    Hypocrisy.


    It is unfortunate that there are those who consider our responses to be inadequate when we have been nothing but forthcoming and cooperative in the past.
    This smells like bullshit. If you were nothing but cooperative and forthcoming, this wouldn't be happening. We wouldn't be begging for transparency on a situation like this. So don't give us that "we did all we could." Everyone knows that's bullshit.

    Actually, let me be more clear. Staff has done a good job of taking action when things come up. Maybe it isn't the best responses at times, but hell... they respond. They are hardworking individuals who have wasted hours on all of this ridiculous, grotesque and just shameful situation.

    Monbrey instantly reacted to my trainer court post. He has been a part of this situation very publicly since it's all been brought up. Hell. He owned up to what he did. Does it excuse it? I cannot be the one to cast judgement, so I don't know. But I can say that he is trying to change.

    Monbrey has always been a leader to us. I think everyone agrees that despite his snarky attitude (which is a part of him, not a complaint,) he has been quite down to earth with the playerbase. So when he apologizes, we can take that apology. He's human. Humans screw up.

    You on the other hand. Wave the flag of "leader" but in my year of being here, have not seen you take action until this all happened.

    I can't explain it properly without it sounding longwinded, so I'll put it this way:

    A leader sets the standards.

    A leader does what's best for the people.

    The people follow their leader, whether they realize they do or not.

    You don't talk a lot. When you do, you sound like a politician. Inhumane, robotic, untrusting. So when Elysia says that issues are swept under the rug. It isn't just you doing that, you are setting this example for everyone.

    Now. You guys act on accusations of sexual harassment? So hw does staff handle you?

    Look, I get you run this place. But if you want shit solved, stop talking for everyone and talk for yourself. Theres a reason we can consider forgiveness (I personally have,) for Monbrey and we still raise questions about your position in all of this. We need a human, not some shadowy figure who we barely interact with.

    Right now, URPG is struggling to survive. We can't afford the political talk. I'm not saying we need drama, or petty bullshit, but god damn. Say something that doesn't sound like it's one of those checklists covering all the issues.

    I don't question what everyone else did. I know the disgusting things they did.

    I don't question URPG being kicked from BMG because of the admin's past actions that lead to it.

    I don't question that staff isn't trying their hardest.

    Harry's words claiming to come from all of them despite what really happened is evidence that he continues to lie.
    I question you as a leader HKim. It's that simple.
    "Take Care of Yourself"



  4. #4
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    Reading this severely disgusts me. URPG Staff should not have handled the situation like this the way they did. I hope that this is an example. I literally cringed reading this, mostly because I was also bullied around that time, but in a different environment at school.

    I extended my trust to Monbrey and HKim since I started in August 2016, but this made me question that. I am very disheartened that this childishness, immaturity and borderline criminal behavior happened between staff. I actually looked up to Monbrey when I started.

    I don't want to start a picket protest, but it is upsetting that people who didn't want to properly deal with them and promote these members to staff. I have always been an optimist, and I do think that they tried to erase history with this current staff and members here and it to reveal it at the cost of losing several great members of URPG. Bad leadership doesn't ruin the game for me, but it did for a lot of the members old enough to personally witness these tragedies.

    I want to believe that people can change and grow, but it is equally immature about keeping it under the rug for so long. Bottling things up only makes the hurt worse. I would definitely be in a better place to forgive, but becuase those most hurt this ordeal came out and admitted what happened in plain English, I am struggling to keep my trust.

    If any of this bottling up of drama happens again in another big reveal, I would have to say that I am out. URPG has been my home for a while but when people are constantly at war with slimy politics going around, I have would have to say I can be in a better place. I am positive under new leadership URPG can flourish.




    Img Made by Morru/Mako

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    some of yall are disgusting and should be ashamed of yourselves jesus christ

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  8. #6
    Head of the URPG URPG StaffAdministrator HKim's Avatar
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    I want to say first and foremost that I’m sorry for letting you all down. I’m sorry for being a poor leader, a poor communicator, and a poor friend.

    Being Head is never an easy job, but it is a critical one for this community. It requires someone capable of handling every issue in a timely manner with the appropriate response. It requires wisdom, dedication, and service. At times I succeeded in this manner and at other times I have dreadfully failed.

    And I apologize for hurting everyone because of my failures.

    The URPG has been my home for 15 years, half of my life. I’ve witnessed many of our different eras. I lead us through the latest one. I apologize, but a lot of my years here run together in my head. It’s hard to recall all of the details. Was my first rival Matthew? How many officials and moderators did I work with? Who was Champion in 2005? I honestly cannot answer any of those questions accurately.

    When I wrote the post on sexual harassment, I had forgotten a lot of what happened back then. You may not believe me and that’s fine. That is your right. I will say honestly that back then, staff and I thought we were doing what was right at the time. I suppose we weren’t. And I know I dropped the ball many times. I’m sorry to everyone I hurt because of my actions and inaction.

    If you must blame me, blame me for my sins. Blame me for being an absent leader. Blame me for not realizing the depth of various problems. Blame me for being secretive. Blame me for being manipulative. Blame me for trusting the wrong people. Blame me for saying the wrong things. Blame me for not listening to others. Blame me for making hasty decisions. Blame me for hurting the community. Blame me for my failures.

    Blame me for not being the leader you deserved.

    I’m sorry about that. I wish I could have been.


    To the staff, I leave you to handle everything. I apologize that you have to deal with this, but I know you’re all capable leaders. You’re good men and women. And though I am a flawed leader myself, I selected each of you because you have qualities that the community needs. And it needs you more than ever now.

    You have a good Head in Swift. He’ll lead you right. And you have the strength and wisdom of each other to rely on. You have everything you need within you. The storm is rough, but the crew is solid. Bring the URPG home.


    I’m sorry to resign like this, but it’s for the best. The URPG must have the chance to recover and it cannot do so with me as Head or as a leader in any capacity. You must be able to forge your own destiny without me holding you back. And for better or worse, I accepted the job so that the URPG can thrive. I leave it for the same reason.

    I’m sorry for hurting everyone. I’m sorry for hurting each of you. I wish you the best.

    God speed.

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