User Tag List

Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Kalasag's Alarm — An Art/Story Collab Piece

  1. #1
    Magikchicken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    424
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    3,398 (0 Banked)

    Default Kalasag's Alarm — An Art/Story Collab Piece

    Submitting my first ever art, for cash and for the Art + Writing event in collaboration with @juliorain!

    Julio's story is called "The Trap"; a link will be edited into this post when it's up on PWN/PXR!

    Kalasag's Alarm.jpg

  2. #2
    URPG Staff VeloJello's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    170
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    1,830 (0 Banked)

    Default

    Claiming~!

  3. #3
    URPG Staff VeloJello's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    170
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    1,830 (0 Banked)

    Default

    First Impression.
    Scuttling in with a Pokemon I don’t see very often, here comes that Krabby! This is a charming drawing of the little crab Pokemon being unfortunately caught up by some beachcomber’s shovel. This is a fun, comical piece with eyecatching pencil work. The bemused look on Krabby’s face gives me a little chuckle.

    Form and Perspective.
    This certainly is a classic crab! I can tell right away that you’ve taken a few liberties with Krabby’s anatomy and proportions. For instance, your Krabby’s eyes are pushed further toward the center of its face than those of the Krabbies that typically show up in official art. However, I’ve never been one to mind justified liberties with Pokemon anatomy, and in this case I think it strengthens your drawing. After all, if Krabby’s shut eye were pushed all the way up to the top of its head, it would just look like some weird nubby protrusion of the head rather than a comical, bemused wink. I respect that. You’ve also made Krabby smaller than it typically is in canon unless that’s a positively huge shovel (Pokedex says that Krabby is 1’4”), but again, this is a creative liberty I think you have the right to take. A bigger Krabby would prevent this scene from existing and frankly the pokedex heights/weights tend to be horsecrap, so I’m not gonna eat your lunch for having a small Krabby. Besides the eye thing, you stick pretty close to classic crab, at least on the side of Krabby that we see. Its rigid joints and sharp points are all clearly visible.

    However, I have a few points of confusion with Krabby. First and foremost: what is Krabby’s pincer arm doing all the way back there, behind its two front legs? While this isn’t an error, since it’s anatomically feasible, it seems like it would be difficult for Krabby to get its big claw back there so far behind its other knees. It shouldn’t be back there without good reason; as-is, this is a little confusing. Krabby’s other claw also confuses me - that is, I’m not entirely sure where it is. While Krabby’s claw could technically be completely buried by the sand, the relatively small amount of sand seems like it would have a hard time containing Krabby’s pincer. Showing a bit of the claw jutting out of the sand, either up above Krabby’s head or to our left or over Krabby’s face - perhaps even emerging from the sand and the shovel itself - would rectify this strange disappearance of Krabby’s large pincer.

    Now, onto the background! I’ll talk a bit more about this later, but I really love what you did with the sand. The sand in the shovel looks really soft and clumpy, just like good, damp beach sand should. It comes straight down and piles up, which helps to sell the sandy effect. Furthermore, you’ve filled the sand in the shovel and on the beach with lots of detritus, giving the impression of a cluttered, shelly seashore. I really like the big scallop shell above Krabby’s side; details like that really sell the environment that your character is in and help to ground both the character and the viewer.

    There are a few confusing things about the background as well, unfortunately. There’s some manner of flag or sign near one of Krabby’s knees, but I’m not sure what it’s there for or what it represents. Simplicity is nice - if you can’t make something visible or clear, it might be good not to include it. Furthermore, I’m struggling with the buildings in the background. Compared with the foreground, the door on the building is very small. Given how your perspective doesn’t lend itself to the buildings looking far-off, the small-ness of the door is surprising, and makes the background look out of proportion. Bringing Krabby up slightly and showing some manner of vanishing point would really help prevent this jarring size change.

    Value.
    One thing I notice about this piece is that it’s very heavy on lighter values, with few midtones and few areas of dark values. While this isn’t inherently bad, and you’ve done a good job introducing a lot of contrast especially between Krabby and the shoveled sand, variety is the spice of life! Varying tones are really helpful for distinguishing different parts of your piece. For instance, the shovel and Krabby’s lower half have extremely similar tones. While it’s currently not hard to pick out where Krabby ends and the shovel begins, a little bit of differing value would make Krabby really pop out. I do respect the effort you’ve taken to make Krabby’s upper half a bit darker than its lower half. If you spread around that kind of attention to detail, you’ll have a much more interesting piece.

    Your shading has some finer points and some lower points. I can tell you tried to include some shading - Krabby casts a shadow on the sand it sits in, its upper half is shaded, the inside of its claw is cast in shadow, and the “thigh” like joints on its lower carapace have some shading to them. However, this shading is relatively low-key and subtle; it’s not easy to see unless you’re paying attention. While subtlety can be good, having such a small amount of shading makes Krabby and the surrounding scenery look a little flat. Since the light appears to be coming from directly above Krabby, I recommend adding a little bit of shading on Krabby’s lower carapace, the shovel beneath it, its legs, etc. By giving your piece readily-visible, coherent shading, you make it easy to see what’s what at a glance and you help your figures to look more real.

    Technique.
    Ah yes, the classic pencil - easy to learn, hard to master. You’ve done well with it here; each shaded area has consistent pencil-stroke directions, which helps these areas to look unified. The pencil looks soft on the sand, which further sells the idea of soft beach sand. Your strokes in the background also help remind the viewer that we’re looking at a beach, rather than a flat, empty plain of nothingness. It also reinforces the “toony” feel of this piece without being overly geometric/inorganic. Overall, nice employment of pencils!

    I just have one recommendation for you with regards to pencils - look into line weight! The basic idea of line weight is that areas that are darker, cast in shadow, more important, or closer to the foreground should have thicker and darker outlines, whereas detail work, far-away figures, and lighter areas should have thinner and lighter outlines. Here’s a side-by-side comparison; here’s a slightly more advanced example that puts all of these different factors together. Line weight isn’t vital for a beginning artist (and I apologize if I’m calling you so when you’re not, I haven’t seen you in the art section before this, oops), but it’s something that I would recommend reading up on. You’d be surprised how much information a line can convey simply by its relative thickness!

    Just one more thing here: the photo quality is a bit messy. I can’t tell if this is on your end or because of the bad attachment system, but this small photo makes it kind of hard to tell what’s going on. Presentation is important, so for submissions in the future, please make sure they’re as visible as you can get them to be!

    Conclusion.
    Let’s get this out of the way right now - I’m afraid I’m going to have to say Krabby not captured. While you’ve put together a nice, fun drawing here, the lack of value variety, the off anatomy, and the rather standard pose really count against you. Monochrome art can pass at the medium rank, but it’s a lot harder, and I don’t believe this piece’s tone game is strong enough to make up the gap. If you want to make edits, my primary suggestions are fixing the front claw so that it’s not pushed back strangely and tweaking the values in your piece, adding more shadows and bringing out the darker areas of your drawing. It doesn’t have to be extreme, but there should be enough to identify easily. You’re almost there; if you push this drawing just a little bit more, you’ll be golden.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •