User Tag List

Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Hawlucha Taking a Dive

  1. #1
    juliorain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,442
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    1,714 (8,967 Banked)

    Default Hawlucha Taking a Dive

    @Nitro, here is your hawlucha drawing just like you asked for!

    This was done in pen on a letter-sized sketch book!

    Spoiler:


    Last edited by juliorain; 01-23-17 at 07:02 PM.

  2. #2
    juliorain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,442
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    1,714 (8,967 Banked)

    Default

    It should work now! Much better!

  3. #3
    juliorain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,442
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    1,714 (8,967 Banked)

    Default

    tis been about a month so I'm bumping in the event it got lost to the sands of time




    Img Made by Morru/Mako

  4. #4
    WinterVines's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,585
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    6,814 (0 Banked)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by juliorain View Post
    tis been about a month so I'm bumping in the event it got lost to the sands of time
    Don't bump the thread itself. We have a thread dedicated to uncurated art. Post it there instead. But, as I think all curators have something claimed right now, it might be a little wait regardless.

    URPG Stats
    Ranger | Grader | Ref | Curator | Judge
    Park Characters | AH: Ixin - Damian | Legend Tracker
    AIM/Discord: WinterVines
    Hatches at 1495

  5. #5
    WinterVines's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,585
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    6,814 (0 Banked)

    Default

    Okay, I'll bite. But clarify for me @juliorain; is this cash or capture attempt?

    URPG Stats
    Ranger | Grader | Ref | Curator | Judge
    Park Characters | AH: Ixin - Damian | Legend Tracker
    AIM/Discord: WinterVines
    Hatches at 1495

  6. #6
    juliorain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,442
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    1,714 (8,967 Banked)

    Default

    @WinterVines, Thank you! I am attempting capture!




    Img Made by Morru/Mako

  7. #7
    WinterVines's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,585
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    6,814 (0 Banked)

    Default

    @juliorain;

    Here tis.

    Form

    Overall, I can mostly tell what everything is, despite some scribbly lines. When you say Hawlucha is taking a dive though, from where? The cliff?

    I like the idea behind the more dynamic canvas spread, but the current positioning of the mon makes where he's jumping from sort of hazy because it currently looks like he's gliding, having jumped from a sideways point. The two ideas confuse the eye a little bit. The mon seems to be curving around, not leaping from the mountain. And that's likely due to the orientation of the Pokemon compared to the rocky cliff.

    I think maybe the entire canvas could've been tilted instead of just the Pokemon, if you wanted a more dynamic angle. Because if he's coming from the cliff, either one of two things should be happening in this pose: either we should see some of his wing feathers because the camera is panning in a more horizontal way and Hawlucha isn't coming right at us OR his feet should be angled upward and he's sailing right for us (which would account for not seeing any of his wing).

    Right now he looks both angled and flat at the same time, with aspects of either so the eye can't really decide which is true. And that mix of both also confuses where on the cliff he's coming from.

    As far as the rest of the Hawlucha goes, it's pretty much correct for what the viewer can see (sans wings). The white bit under the head actually extends a bit further than you have it, regardless if the camera sees him more flat or angled. The eyes are vastly different from the official art as well, in both the eye style and the missing(?) yellow rings around them.

    I sort of wish a little more had gone into distinguishing colors on the head, since the eyes and head have different hues officially, but it's hard to see that here. You did very well in including a darker value for the red—I would've liked to see that pushed a little more to include Hawlucha's other colors.

    For Mega Salamence, the wings are actually a crescent moon instead of the normal mence wings. In this position, if this style of wing were there, we should also be able to see the legs. It's sort of odd. The head twist, because the details are so scratchy and undefined, make it look a little strange too.

    Technique

    Pen is always an interesting medium. It is so hard to get right and requires a lot of time. The medium itself can be fantastic. I'll always remember in high school when a former student came to our art class and showed off his character work. He drew only in pen, mostly red, and the illustrations were amazing.

    I know a few other curators have told you this, and I'll repeat their words: some of your lines are very messy. I think this is a beautiful medium, but I still think a lot of your lines go a little wonky and are uncontrolled. A lot of the loopy scribbles, or when they suddenly switch directions, are very noticeable (like on the cloud and the cliff) and distracting.

    That's not to say that lines shouldn't go in different directions at times to create texture and deeper shadows, but that should be purposeful. Some areas here, like areas of the sky and toward the bottom of the cliff, just draw awkward attention to themselves.

    I wouldn't really harp on this so much if other curators hadn't already told you this same thing that is still repeated a bit.

    Like I mentioned before, the sky and bottom of the cliff are the biggest transgressors of this wild line syndrome. Areas where you stayed consistent, like on the Salamence's wings and the Hawlucha's arms, are fantastic. I wanted to see more of that controlled coloring. Because you're restricting yourself to one medium like this, it means you have to try and use that medium to its fullest.

    If you don't want to put that much ink down, due to time or whatever, you could also consider cropping your canvas a little to not include just wide, open spaces of the same object. That seems to be killer on the pen. Perhaps you just need a busier piece, with more details that work for the pen. It's hard to provide good contrast when the lines go a little wild.

    For example, near the top area of the cliff, there's a really dark area. But slightly above and slightly below its near white with only a few lines—they sort of look like holes. Things like the cliff edge could also stand to be a little more rigid and defined—cliffs don't have hair after all.

    Pen shading should be purposeful too, and more uniform, like you did in some areas. Actual lines, not scribbles. For an object, making all the lines go in one direction might help denote texture too. For example, on the cliff, all planes facing the same way should have the same shading value when there is a fixed light source (the sun, we're assuming in this case since we're outside). Because it's a flat or jagged surface, you could do straight lines for this.

    Techniques like crosshatching could be used for darker shadows, adding another set of lines going a different way, like a rockface that is turned away from us. Something similar can be done with the clouds—using uniform curved lines to suggest a soft, roundness instead of straight jags like you have.

    Some places where it's messier does look cool, like on Hawlucha's crest. This suggests a sort of tattered feather effect,which makes sense in that context. But these sorts of things should be purposeful, not for lack of time. Especially as the rank increases, and as curators keep telling you this same thing, it'll be cracked down on.

    Defining, purposeful lines versus ones that go wild become become so important in pieces like this with limitations because it can be hard to achieve good contrast otherwise.

    Background

    To be fair, there isn't a ton of background to worry about since your main elements are fairly large. But at the same time, there's a ton of blankness and not much visually appealing to look at if the eye wanders away from the main mons and cliff. The clouds are a nice touch, although some of them are a lot more pointy than smooth.

    I'm kinda debating whether the sky should've been colored in at all in this style. It doesn't really seem to lean toward pen very well because its such a huge area that's hard to get smooth without putting in considerable care and time—not something that a simple sky should really require in this case.

    The solution to this I guess would be to leave big, blank areas like the sky blank without any scribbles. This would neaten it up and could evoke a bit of Chinese scroll white space. Or at least help define your main elements better with more contrast.

    Another option would be to fill the space with more objects that lend themselves to pen art. Perhaps more mons, more clouds, other cliffs, and so on.

    MegaMence's presence here is a little puzzling. I'm kinda wondering what the scenario in this piece is, since it's a mega with a Trainer not really close, which is a requirement of mega-evolving. I kinda assumed this took place in the wild because of the cliff and the nature of it, but the mega kinda throws that idea off.

    Are they battling? What else is going on? Because the background is just sky it sort of leaves a lot up to the imagination, which can be good. It can also generate more questions. Especially as rank increases, all of the elements in a piece should contribute to the overall theme and story of the work.

    Result

    Spoiler:

    There are lots of things I like about this piece. Parts of the positioning, the choice in medium, and a suggested story. But there are also holes in the story, some slight confusion about the positioning, and a little less finese in technique.

    I think I'm going to score this 45/55 which means Hawlucha is not captured yet.

    I think that if you neaten up your lines a little, fill in the scribbles, and make it more whole that way, it would go a long, long way in improving your score. Think about purposeful, cohesive lines. Pen requires a lot of time but that's the medium you chose. It can have some really nice affects so I think it's worth it.

    Also, perhaps some Hawlucha adjusting with the wing feathers would also help the perspective a little.

    Hit me up when you edit!


    URPG Stats
    Ranger | Grader | Ref | Curator | Judge
    Park Characters | AH: Ixin - Damian | Legend Tracker
    AIM/Discord: WinterVines
    Hatches at 1495

  8. #8
    juliorain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,442
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    1,714 (8,967 Banked)

    Default

    @WinterVines You're right about the lines. I did what I could.

    Here is the updated version:

    Last edited by juliorain; 04-26-17 at 03:20 PM.




    Img Made by Morru/Mako

  9. #9
    WinterVines's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,585
    Post Thanks / Like
    PokeBucks
    6,814 (0 Banked)

    Default

    @juliorain;

    Ahh, that's so much better. Much neater and more coherent.

    There's still some positioning issues with the angles of both the Pokemon, but save for starting over, there's no real fixing that. I do think showing the wings a little looks a ton better and helps orient the eye more than the previous version did.

    The only really wonky place still is on the bottom of the cliff-face, where that patch of jagged rocks seemingly facing the same direction as the rest of the cliff is illuminated with light while the rest are in shadow. That sort of disorients where the light is coming from and how the rocks are arranged.

    But overall I'm happy with the changes. I can grant this 55/55 meaning Hawlucha is now captured.

    Be sure to keep your lines a little more controlled in the future, and a few thumbnails for positioning might not hurt to make sure everything makes sense composition-wise.

    URPG Stats
    Ranger | Grader | Ref | Curator | Judge
    Park Characters | AH: Ixin - Damian | Legend Tracker
    AIM/Discord: WinterVines
    Hatches at 1495

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •