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    How kind of you to say that. ^^
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    Reading your posts all throughout the forum I'm pretty sure you're some kind of genius. :)
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    omggggggg I LOVED the video <333 I've been stuck on this and their whole studio for days now rip guilty joys

    also hi hi hi hi!! how is your week going?! I am so sorry about these late replies!
    basically I took a hugeeeee frikken' standardized test earlier so I can get into grad school lel
    and I'm getting on a plane tomorrow to travel the full day
    haaaa yaaaa n~n !! and I applied for that fellowship with your faith and guidance <3333
    but PLEASEEE~ tell me all about your week! how are you?! how will your grandchildren be? C;
    I will have much longer replies!... in like three or so days or... whenever I can reach land ahaaa
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    ALSO I LOVE THE ALBUM <3 <3 <3
    ALSO HI <333
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    pt ii WOOO!

    100% agree - the rat race isn't for me! and I think we all need to find a way to lead meaningful and empowered lives. but the American dream and the importance of gratitude - Tibbity I have a movie I think you'd like to see and I'd really like to know what you think about it! it's called Into the Wild and is a real life story about this guy who gets out of college and foregoes everything to go into the wilderness and find himself. I have a lot of conflicting feels about that movie and would laaaaahv to know what you think about it or even the premise of the movie. because it leads into questions, for me, of privilege and opportunity and ahhh, and the importance of being able to be free no matter one's situation in life. To simply accept yourself as you are and as you live, to let be. some real Samurai Champloo typa quote right here that's absolutely gorgeous <3 I FEEL RAMBLY, I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO MATCH YOUR BEAUTIFUL PROSE. I AM NOT WORTHY!!

    In the end - I think we all have to be aware of, and avoid, becoming inured in oppressive systems. but we also should take full advantage of the joy and love in every single moment of the day! and be mindful of who we're helping or who we're serving every step along the way. Who's truly important to you, Tibbity? How do you know? What does it mean to not be able to return something that they so wonderfully bestowed upon you? and I need to ask what my name means!! I can't wait to hear your name meaning!

    the black panther
    I wrote a 20-page paper on this lol rip

    yes yes yes yes! omg, I don't even know what to say - your roomie's spot-on with that analysis! there's a reason so many superheroes are disadvantaged youth populations or people coming from disadvantaged backgrounds - it's back to my idea of the secret lives thing. you can live out this full (cue the lusty images of Harlequinn or otherwise any superhero woman or man) lifestyle that you never could with all the panache you ever wanted by writing / reading / being this superhero. Vicariously live and save the day when your own day may not be so bright. but the best thing about superheroes is the fact that ultimately, it goes back to you - they represent the hero in you. And you realize you can be your own hero with a certain moral framework or values or just being a good person and

    Storm is the first black woman superhero. She has blue eyes. in a time when little girls like me (well tbh I'm multiracial so I don't fully count here literally lol rip) didn't find anyone that looked like them in the media. and blue eyes are coveted. cue Toni Morrison's novel here or honestly any commercial or anything. blue eyes are a demarcation of privilege and freedom and this Storm superhero comes rolling up, saying that black girls can have blue eyes too?! WHAT, that's FREAKIN' AMAZIN'. oh and also she knows the FULL history of her family and generations before that etc etc and is so incredibly intelligent in a time when even I don't know my family past my grandfather and never will cause those records were never kept. Storm represents for me the impossible that is in me: the blue eyes were mine all along. I was free all along. the impossible knowledge of my family's roots lost to slavery - owning them wouldn't make me free but I owe them through Storm. so many feelings.

    saitama is so interesting because he was lacking in nothing to begin with!

    I'm not a god though - I'm such an insignificant force in the wake of the universe. everything around me was created by someone else; even the ideas in my stories? I had to be inspired by something or moved to emotion by some other person, right? if we have no other people in our lives, we literally have nothing: no basis for living, experience, understanding. I am only a small, insignificant factor Reality and realities, and I quite like it that way! maybe that's just be obliquely occluding myself from others who might truly truly want to know me. idk, it's tough - I feel like at any time, we will only know someone… maybe 40% of who they are. maximum. even if you've known them your whole life. limitless depths. I like that idea! do you think we could ever know someone... fully?! their patterns of lives, their inner motivations that they themselves don't know

    100% feeling this mindset!! but what if something doesn't bring you joy? do you have to do it anyway? what of responsibility, of gratitude for these lives we've been blessed with? to love and be loved, to know and be known. TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR LIFE MMMKAY I LOVE THIS AND I APOLOGIZE THAT IT TOOK ME A YEAR AND A HALF TO RESPOND BWHAHAHA
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    TIBBITY <3333 ok here goes the week in hashtags real quick #momwithsurgery #surgerywentwell #shefeelinggood #YAYMOM #brothercamehome #foralittle #goodweekend #blessed #AHHHH #heartheartheart and tell me about your week!! just wanna preface by saying that your job at the spiritual conference sounds absolutely AMAZING. it sounds like they had the atmosphere of Eranos and with you there, a paragon of human understanding and ultimate coolness and wonder, it must have been quite the gnostic and ground-breaking experience C: I wanna hear ALL ABOUT this and more experiences that have shaped you into the marvelous human being you are today, because you truly are quite special! Open, introspective, honest - a rare and winsome gentleman!

    all the heuheus for you - yes, a rather lurid and licentious engagement ;) does your Korean friend have warrant to make fun of you for such things?! and if so, what are the stories? and u lovable silly a winter wedding sounds lovely and beautiful! But I'd prefer spring or summer! but honestly I'd prefer to not really have a formal marriage ceremony at all, y'know - just quietly elope with my love under the sea while wearing a bowtie n~n anything else is permissible, but eh, that would be the dream! and I owe you a picture of that new age Fenton! quite soon! and thanks for yer love and blessings with those sweet beats on exams. I'm home now! which is so nice! and grades are fun - I never cared too much about them honestly, always just wanted to challenge myself and learn as much as could!

    it's nice talking here like this - cause it reminds me a lot of last time - and it seems like another version of us, but still us y'know? don't remember too much of what we talked about - but I remember a lot of laughter and connection and really it's that kind of stuff that just makes my entire month! makes everything so bright and shiny again when real life can get stuffy and the anxiety pulls in. it's really about the hope and brightness of awesome humans in the world. LIKE YOURSELF n~n and the chance opportunity for us to meet her, again, on the internet, across the world, after three years?! INSANE! I've heard that if you really love something or somebody you should let it go. and if it comes back to you, it means something even more special.... tbh I have no idea what that means LOL but I definitely feel the spiritual vibes here!!

    what do you mean you stopped daydreamng [death] no no no no... there's so much more to life than feeling those emotions and we can't control what we feel and sometimes the weight of worlds just crashes upon you - but i'm definitely feeling those questions about emotions. in some way, I feel like emotions are the only things humans actually share, but in another moment it's hard to describe totally. or why for example we only have one word in english for depression. and it's so tough to name these emotions that are so internal and yet shape everything about life; ex: people tell me often that I'm the happiest person they've ever met or ever seen. When I was going through a period of depression in my second year of college, it was so difficult for me to wiggle my way out of the immense mire of emotion: I felt like I was truly burning. people describe depression as rolling waves of fog but for me I felt fully illuminated, critically analyzed by myself and the world around me, my skin searing while everyone watched and said to me, "but you can't possibly be sad. that's not you! don't play around." and I though to myself: am I actually truly sad? do I have the right to be sad when I should simply be grateful in this generous world I live in where everyday I have a roof above my head and food to eat. and since then I've learned to surrender totally to emotion - there's no other way to live I think, but to do things wholly and passionately and to feel fully

    tell me more about this beautiful girl at the conference ;) besides looking then, what do you see in her? what does she think about life, what did she really want out of that conference, and what marvelous feats has she yet to accomplish that she simply aspires to everyday. I wonder! when you look at people, what do you see, Tibbity? I'm curious! you have such a beautiful and full reading on people and I'm honestly astounded by it! And how do we represent what it is that we've claimed to see? Can we ever fully represent something, or is everything an artifice? or a figment of our imagination, never to be separated from connotation and bias and the little ways we do indeed shape our worlds?

    also your depiction of me is wonderful :) It was so so kind of you and I feel blessed - you make me sound a lot cooler than I am! LOL and yes, I learn best by seeing things done first, though i often feel like I have to carve out my own path in things. or i want what i can't currently see, or i want things higher up in the ladder not out of material growth or prosperity but rather out of a need to challenge myself. I've been struggling lately with this idea of capability: tbh I'm thinking about applying to this grant that would let me travel up to 9 countries for a period of over a full year (btw I'm going to Rwanda this summer through a fellowship, it's kinda a big part of my life atm so thought you'd like that ;p) and I had a long talk with my mom that made me realize I was socialized to believe i'm not capable. a cruel mercy. for a mother to raise her daughter to know that as a woman and as a poc, I'm immediately illegal. in perpetual danger. perhaps not as capable because of me individually but because of society's constraints on me. am i ungrateful to her for wanting to refute this? she risked everything from the Philippines to raise my brother and myself in America. I don't want to take anything for granted. but i want to apply to this thing, even though I know i won't get it, because i want her to see and i want myself to see i'm capable. and grateful. hmmm

    this is so beautifully written tbh I wanna hear so much more about love! ;~~~~~; I love lots yes, but I think I wear my heart on my sleeve for both my friends and lovers to take - like there's no other way to be but being wholly myself. there's strength in vulnerability; and also I don't think it takes a lot for me to love love, I just think maybe my standards are too high - cause I don't want to waste time or because I grew up and realized that race politics were a thing in romance and because I only seek the best for myself quite selfishly. but I don't abuse people for that type of affection… also makes me think a lot of Her (because who wouldn't want to be scarlet johansson??) in the way that I think it's perfectly normal to love people, so many people, so deeply on so many levels. all the colors of my friendship shine in their own light and darken at different times of the season. it's ok. people are beautiful and wonderful and i'm so grateful to be even a small part of their world. what are your experiences, not just feelings, about love, Tibbity? what forms your thoughts about this in the world?

    but maybe I do reserve those emotions for my stories because it's the only way I can talk about it and comprehend it, as vulnerable as I'm now moving to make sure I be. there's something so special about stories and role-playing: the opportunity to live out a panoply of beautiful and secret lives in different dimensions that we ourselves could never experience in the dimension we live in. it brings us closer together. it opens up existence as I know it and helps me understand that, even with all these whimsical things happening in my imagination, my reality as it is is perfect and meant to be this way. I don't need to be the young white male I'm role playing or the alien from another universe because ultimately there's no one else I'd rather be than me at the end of the day. and it's the most affirming, wondrous realization I think roleplaying can give us, besides the joy of empathy and human community. it's a marvelous thing! do you feel kinda the same way about rapping? when you did? you'll have to send me some drops ;)

    one time i wrote this guy a story to tell him i liked him and i emailed it to him BWHAHA, is that weird?!

    you give me far too much credit and you're so beautiful! this is such an introspective and important assessment of one person and wow, WOW, how'd you get all of this out from me so quickly?! that's so amazing! a lot of talent, academic, and experiential work understanding people. I bet your friends absolutely love you - I hope they cherish you!

    and if so.. and if you've identified this in yourself, which right there is half the battle, how will you fix this for yourself? this issue of seeing but not looking. should we take our eyes out so we don't see or look at all but rather feel, feel unconditionally with a full heart. I look at people passing on the street and wonder what their dreams and aspirations are and what they do in bed and idk, there's just so much good in the world - and so much I'm never going to know about people, but I figure that while I have this short and special time on earth with them in this curious world, I might as well try to learn as much about them as possible! idk! there's just so much GOOD out there and the good of people <3

    199% feeling the body-mind-connection!! I'm actually a health advisor at my uni and i'm all. about. the mental health game and how important it is for everyone to understand that mental health isn't just something that pops out of no where when you feel stressed or sad. it's an active, ongoing relationship between You and You, and the better we foster that relationship, the happier we are! also 100% in agreement about the importance of prevention in public health - tbh. we could fix soooo much before it happens. so much.
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    tibbity I adore you <333 and I apologize for my late replies on things! I feel like since the year or two I've seen you, I've been reflecting a lot on sincerity and authenticity and don't want to reply to things from a dear friend unless I have the time and space to say what I mean exactly and honestly. SO I'VE GOTTEN REALLY GOOD AT PROCRASTINATING LMAO BE MAH FRIEND STILL ILY

    I've reread this over like three times - nobody else sings so expressive a song straight from the circuits of his brain to the sinews of my heart, soft and supple, true in their tone. And I wonder how you've developed these talents to express so extraordinary an emotion and, even greater, how you've changed in the moment you've faced that emotion to the forever before you in which to contemplate its everlasting wave creasendoing over you, growing louder and hungrier in its swift mobility. Do you ever feel like you've felt all the emotions you'll ever feel in life, and there is nothing more it discover anymore? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to truly become a shaman, travel to another world defeating spirits, and dreaming of your past lives simultaneously? And then do you wonder these things knowing how different it'd be to wonder them with a loved one by your side? These are things that keep me up at night! and omg, your continuums <3 I love them, I cherish you, I love you, I'm so happy you're here!

    awwwh yay ofc! is that the go-to food around you? and did I ever tell you that I was once super shy of eating wings in public LOL cause I was like omg no no they're gonna know I chew food with my teeth ew weird. That was Freshman year, Junior year is now me eating for like an hour and a half just talking to the people around me. it's so special; I feel like a German dining at a five course meal taking her sweet time lmao, I love it. Everyone has so many interesting stories to share and perspectives and ah I MUST know yours! Tell me EVERYTHING about your life that I've sadly missed in the past year or so ok GO <3

    boo I insta'd egcians and got a... unique response heuheu, maybe it is what we are?! ;P and omg I have to find that picture - and or draw you a new one, I'm down for both tbh. and awwwh yes, it feels like it hasn't actually been that long since we talked! and sushi break?! what do you think of when you've eaten sushi? And how has your life ideology changed since then, u bouncin' n beautiful Born-Again cherished one, u <3 worst grammar I've ever done in my life but know that it means that I LOVE YOU. And also from the Nevada desert to... a different desert atm tbh, cause university and #wow and WOW! I'd like to give gifts to people honestly!! dream job! dream fellowship!

    and what's been on your minddd C=


    eagerly awaiting ur reply

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    tell me how to win your heart
    for I haven't got a clue
    but let me start by saying FENTON WHUUUUURT?! omg I remember I drew a picture for this lmao my heart for you

    YES YES YES! awwh! wait boo orient / anchor me in your life - what is your current status of reality? C= / what are you up to, is schooling still a thing, are you happy
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    omg omg omg omggggg
    are you my

    fenton-loving friend forever of a soulmate so true and so kind
    my love?!
    is it you?!
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