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  1. Don't play DDR if you're older than high school age

    So there I was, at a laser tag place, drawn in by the flashing lights of DDR. "I used to be good at this in high school," I told myself. "I'm a little out of shape now, but it'll be fine!" I said.

    End of the song required three jumps, and on the last jump there's a loud CRACK, pain, and my knee pops sideways, and I just sort of crumple. And I'm here know typing at this awkward angle while my leg's up on pillows and shit with ice on top.

    Only someone ...